Sunday, August 31, 2008

The Billionaires' Yacht Club

And America's Cup. And $10 million.

The Questionable Intelligence Of Farmers Branch

Farmers Branch's positives:
•good city parks
•a pretty decent library

Farmers Branch's negatives, as seen by the outside world:
•property tax base reliant upon residences
•no beer and wine sales and thus no nice restaurants and no bar scene
•no major grocery store
•sales tax revenue derived primarily from one Wal-Mart store
•no high school sports tradition
•no nighttime entertainment venues
•aging and neglected infrastructure
•police department with a jones for giving tickets

Farmers Branch's only negative as seen by the city council:
•too many "Mexicans"

So the city council in its collective wisdom passed Ordinance 2903 requiring apartment complexes to obtain and maintain copies of documents showing tenants to be U.S. citizens or legal residents. Judge Sam Lindsay struck down 2903 Friday because he said the U.S. Constitution gives the federal government exclusive jurisdiction over immigration. The fight for 2903 has cost the city $800000 plus they may have to pay the attorney fees for the opposition.

Anticipating a loss the city council passed Ordinance 2952 expected to go into effect in mid-September. It includes rental houses as well as apartments. Potential renters will now have to go to city hall, swear they're citizens or legal residents and pay a $5 fee to get a permit to rent. The city will use a federal database to determine the potential renters' status. Landlords renting to tenants without the permit can be fined up to $500 per day.

Farmers Branch is surrounded by Dallas, Addison and Carrollton. None of those cities have such rules and all have rental units. Why would a renter go to such lengths just to live in Farmers Branch? Just what does Farmers Branch have to make it so appealing other than the cheap rent landlords will now have to offer to attract tenants?

Think of this from the point of view of someone who has spent decades building up a rental inventory in Farmers Branch to help pay for retirement. Then, beyond their control but fully within the control of a select few, their investments produce less income.

Think of the Farmers Branch homeowner who gets transferred or otherwise wants to sell the house. The list of potential buyers is reduced because of the culling of investment-landlords.

Think of the Farmers Branch taxpayers who will have to pay for a lost lawsuit and will most likely have to pay for another.

All because of a select group of politians who prey on a population frenzied by a perception that "Mexicans" are taking over America.

Let Your Fingers Do The Walking

And have them walk as far away from Yellow Pages investing as possible. The two main companies that can use that name are R.H. Donnelley Corp and Idearc Inc. They claim that their higher costs prevent them from competing with independents such as YellowBook. In Manhattan, a quarter-page ad runs $24500 in the Yellow Pages yet only $10400 in YellowBook. Why the higher costs for the big two? For one thing it is debt service from the massive borrowing they did to acquire competitors in a dying industry. Both companies' stock prices have dropped 95% in the past year. One major analyst says the companies are actually worth less than the book value of their debt.

St. Joseph Realty

It may take an act of God to sell your house in today's market. Or it may take St. Joseph. Some believe it helps to sell your house by burying a statue of St. Joe near the For Sale sign. And don't forget to bury it upside down, though I haven't quite figured that part out. And if you can't find a St. Joe at your neighborhood 99¢ store, just go to stjosephstatue.com.
Expect a miracle.

Suicide Doors


If you be traveling down the road at 60 per and the door comes unlatched you be history.

Married Catholic Priests

You can be a Roman Catholic priest and be married. No you can't be a Roman Catholic priest and get married.

The Episcopal Church is the closest thing to Catholicism in the United States and allows their priests to be married. Occasionally some married Episcopalian priests will convert to Roman Catholicism. He is usually allowed to retain the title of priest. And he is allowed to retain his wife.

Father Vince.

Catfish Noodling

Who needs a fishing pole when you can just stick your arm down the catfish's throat!

New York Times article.

Snopes.com proves it.

Fishing Texas Online discusses it.

Saturday, August 30, 2008

How Many People Have Your Name?

Wow, I'm the only one named Stymie Tapioca!

Has Joe Biden Been Drinking?

There's some slurring.

Faith In Drivers Restored

At least until later today.
9:40 last night; driving on a 6-lane street approaching a red light where I need to turn right; no cars in my lane so I can make a right turn on red; little sports car speeds by and gets in my lane ahead of me so he can be first off the block when the light turns green; I turn on my right turn signal; he notices and immediately changes back into the middle lane so I won't have to wait; I pass him and wave a "thank you"; he changes lanes again and gets behind me; I make my right turn on red; the light turns green for him and he is indeed the first one off the block.

Though probably young and obviously in a hurry to get nowhere fast, he was also considerate.

And this happened in Dallas??

The Latest On Gustav

News from New Orleans.

Dallas County Sheriff Endorsements

Law enforcement organizations' endorsements to date for the November election:

Incumbent Sheriff Lupe Valdez — 0
Challenger former Irving Police Chief Lowell Cannaday — 14

An embarrassment is that the Dallas County Sheriff's Association is supporting Mr. Cannaday instead of their boss.

Why Franchising Sucks

The franchisee gets paid from the net (profit) of the business which may take years, if ever, to occur.
The franchiser gets paid from the gross, generally 5-8% of it. Profit or not. I know of which I speak.

Wheaties Box

This picture sucks.

NFL Injuries and Replacements

If a team hires a veteran replacement for the opening regular season game, they must pay his salary for the entire season. If the team waits until the second game, they only have to pay him on a weekly basis.

I Got Carded!

at WalMart when buying beer. I thanked her.

Friday, August 29, 2008

Sarah Palin, son Trig & husband Todd



Quirky, isolated Alaska.

He's Married To Tea Leoni

I wonder what she has to say?

Hurricane Katrina

Three years ago today. And now comes Gustav.

Spangers

That's the coined word for spare-change artist. They used to be called panhandlers. Panhandling is not illegal in Dallas except at certain locations (banks, ATM machines) and at night. Or if threatening or persistent.

Panhandling lessons can be found on the Internet.

Brother can you spare a dime?

Barack Obama Is A Black Man

That's what the media tells us. They never refer to him as African-American. He is the child of a black father and a white mother. To me that means he's ½ and ½. Yet it is always said that he can become America's first black president. Does being half black make him black? Does it make him not white? If his black father was a child of a mixed marriage thus making Barack ¼ black, would he still be referred to as black? What percentage makes someone black?

I have a cousin (white) who married an Asian woman. They have two children. The boy looks very Asian yet the girl looks very white. Do we go by looks alone and call the boy Asian and the girl white?

I don't know.

Film To Avoid

W. By Oliver Stone. Opens October 17.

Crucified Frog


Sculpture in Bolzano, Italy. The Pope is not a happy camper.

His Calendar Was Full

State District Judge Robert Dry has scheduled a hearing on whether to require depositions from the judge and prosecuter in the Charles Dean Hood death penalty trial. He marked his calendar for the hearing for September 12. Mr. Hood is set to die September 10.

McCain Picks A 'Mate

I must say that Sarah Palin was a better kept secret than Joe Biden.

Female +
Governor +
Energy state +
Former union member +
Union member husband +
Large family +
NRA member +
WASP -
Experience -
Age +
Wears glasses -
Kid with Down syndrome +
No male pattern baldness +
Kid in the service +

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Remembering Stevie Ray


The Texas blues guitar legend died on this day in 1990 in a helicopter crash.

The Richest Texans

The top 10 and their net worth in billions:

•Alice Walton, Fort Worth $19
•Michael Dell, Austin $16.4
•Dan Duncan, Houston $7.9
•Harold Simmons, Dallas $6.9
•Robert Rowling, Highland Park $6.2
•Robert Bass, Fort Worth $5.5
•Ross Perot, Dallas $4.3
•Ray Hunt, Dallas $4.0
•David Bonderman,Fort Worth $$3.3
•George Mitchell, The Woodlands $3.2


per Forbes magazine

Milla Jovovich Photo

We Made Google

Just look at number 4 & 5 down!

Texas Vending Machine

Don't call it soda or pop. It's all Coke...unless it's Dr Pepper.

LBJ's 100th Birthday


Born August 27, 1908, on a farm outside Stonewall, Texas. He is famous for his quotes and his pecker.

Laying a wreath.

Two And A Half Men

Why does Charlie always wear shirts that look like they belong in a bowling alley? And the chicks fall for that? Plus he always crosses his legs like a girl. Ptttt.

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Tony Romo's New House

1608 Dowling Drive

Irving, Texas 75063

Why Do People Talk To Themselves?

He wasn't talking to me and there was no one else around. Damnit, he followed me outside and saw my bumper stickers: "waterloo records" and "78704...more than a zip code, a way of life." Then he says to me, "I'd like to get back to Austin, but I have a good job here. Dallas has more plastic surgeons than real people. I mean, you could marry a good looking woman and end up with a mongoloid child."

Maybe that's what his dad did.

Do I Have A Right To Be Mad?

It was 6:00 pm, the height of rush hour. I was driving on a major street that had gone from 3 lanes (each way) to two. The speed limit was 40 mph and even with the heavy traffic cars were doing that. Except in my lane. Because in my lane there was a bicycle rider. The light had just turned green and it was taking some time for him to get up to speed. I know, bikes have the same rights as cars to be on the roads and if he was commuting to/from work I would give him a high five but there was absolutely no place to store even a wallet. I can only assume he was doing it for the exercise. Is it too much to say that all things considered, he was rude in choosing that time and place to fulfill his desired exercise regiment at the expense of so many others?

South Pole, Florida

Mark Rothko

Makes Cents To Me

Stupid commercial.

The Mets, the Jets, the Giants & the Yankees

The Dallas Cowboys are getting a new stadium. So are they.

However, the Jets just made an announcement that should make some fans happy.

Branford Marsalis Photo

Happy 48th birthday.

High School Football's Zero Week

The UIL now allows Texas high schools to play a football game one week early and have a bye week during the season. The schools are still limited to playing 10 games unless in the playoffs. To accommodate the early game while still calling the last games of the regular season Week 10, the first week is now called Zero Week. Bureaucrats. You gotta love them.

New Book

On shelves today.

Women Get The Vote

Eighty-eight years ago today the 19th Amendment was certified. African American (men) were given the right to vote 50 years earlier.

Monday, August 25, 2008

Margaret Thatcher Has Lost It

Lost her mind.

Now That's Just Rude!

The neighbors.

Scholz Beer Garden


Austin, Texas

College Bootlegging

At Texas Tech? In Lubbock? Say it isn't so.

The Funny Looking Congressman From Cleveland

Q&A with Dennis Kucinich per The New York Times Magazine

Before you ended your quiotic bid for the Democratic presidential nomination in January...did you believe you could really be president?
No one runs unless they think they can.

But you're a vegan. Do you think America is ready to elect a non-beef-eating president?
I think America is ready for a president with blood pressure of 90 over 60 who could beat most people half his age in a sprint.

I see you are scheduled to speak at the convention on Tuesday, at the Pepsi Center, which sounds like the name of a soda plant. Why is it called that?
My guess is that Pepsi probably bought the naming rights. Naming rights are another thing my subcommittee — the Domestic Policy Subcommittee — is looking into.

You've met with opposition from Nancy Pelosi and other Democrats for continuing to push for the impeachment of President Bush and Vice President Cheney.
The process of democracy is a slow process, and it's important that I do what I know to be the right thing.

Why bother with impeachment when Bush is on his way out of Washington anyhow?
This president is capable of taking us into war, in October, on the eve of an election. We need to keep the ability to impeach at the ready in the event that this president continues to exercise a wanton approach toward the use of power, particularly the war power. The events in Georgia are a premonition.

A premonition of what?
A premonition of an attack on Iran. When Georgia moves against South Ossetia as the Olympics are starting, the Bush administration begins its own Olympics — the war Olympics.

Are you saying the Bush administration is likely to declare war soon just to help Republican candidates pick up some votes?
Well, you know, they increased the funding to Georgia a while back for military purposes.

Have you had a chance to talk to President Bush lately?
The last time I had a word with him was at the State of the Union address. I told him, "Mr. President, I wish you peace."

How did he respond?
He said, "I know you believe that."

What should we make of Shirley MacLaine's recent memoir, in which she mentions that you once spotted a U.F.O. at her house?
I saw something, absolutely. I don't know what it was. It was unidentified.

What did it look like?
End of story for me. Around Washington, the truth is an unidentified flying object.

Rosanna Arquette Photo & Quote

"I have buck teeth. I used to suck my thumb. Now I suck other things."

The Floodgates Are Open

Iowa gives us corn and an occasional decent college football game. I'm not quite sure what New Hampshire contributes to society. But every leap year they pump their chests and decide who will drop out of the presidential race. Just a couple of white-bread nonentities making decisions for the nation. It pissed off Florida and Michigan so they held their presidential primaries befor February 5 which pissed off the Democratic Party because that broke their rules. The party initially stripped those two states of their delegates at the convention before restoring ½ delegates to them. Yesterday the party gave full voting rights to Florida and Michigan at the request of Barack Obama. Whoa Nelly! I'm sure other states are looking at that decision and thinking that if there is no penalty in breaking party rules in holding presidential primaries, they'll consider doing so too in 3 years and 8 months. Is there a vote looming on December 30, 2011?

Athiest's Tombstone

"All dressed up and no place to go."

Sunday, August 24, 2008

Jill Biden Photo

Mrs. Joe

End Of The Line

All of those trains in New York City, transporting all of those people. But they have to stop somewhere. See the neighborhoods where the last riders get off. A pictorial.

Fastest Man In The World

Usain Bolt of Jamaica
3-for-3-for-3
Three events, three gold medals, three world records
100, 200 & 4x100-meter races

Tea Leoni Photo

Dumb Sign On Door

As I walk by an Allstate office I noticed a sign on the door that reads, "Back in 15 minutes." What does that mean? Did they put up the sign 14 minutes ago in which case they'll be back in one minute? If I see the sign again 5 minutes later will it still be another 15 minutes until they return? What if their watch is broken? Does that mean they'll never be back?

Pit Bull Control

Some local cities want breed-specific laws. Texas law does not currently allow that. Of course the pit bull unions don't want that because the idiots know their breed will be targeted. Of course it will. There are more dog bites attributed to pit bulls than any other breed. "Owners [just] need to be educated," they say. Of course they do. And of course they won't be. Yes, there are some responsible pit bull owners. A pit bull club member (see story) says fierce dogs are typically about owners who are "already breaking the law." She's helping me make my point! The reputation of the pit bull invites irresponsible ownership. These people will not or can not be educated.

Make laws so tough and enforcement and repercussion so stringent that irresponsible ownership will wane. Strickly limit breeding. And reread those first two paragraphs in the story. And ask yourself when was the last time you heard about two stray (fill in the breed) killing a kitten?

Bad Habits

My friend liked the idea that when she turned her car off the headlights went off too, so she got in the habit of never turning them off herself. The other day she had to rent a car and the next morning called me to ask if I had any jumper cables. Bad habit.

Saturday, August 23, 2008

Plumbers At Lunch

Aileen Wuornos Photo

Yes, it's who you think it is.

Residential Up, Retail Down

The desire of urban planners is for close-in development to consist of multi-level residential units placed on top of retail stores, thus making neighborhoods "walkable" and reducing vehicular traffic. Nice pipe dream. While the apartments fill up, the vacancy rates on the ground floor remain high. The problem cannot be placed solely on the shoulders of the idealists that often require this type of design. Property owners still ask for exorbitant rents from businesses, often twice per square foot than the residences. And with no anchor stores as a drawing power, these stores must rely on fewer customers to help pay the rent. But the owners have forgotten Business 101. Rent is the highest fixed expense of most retail operations. Reduce the commercial rent and entice the retail establishments. Offset this with slightly higher residential rates. Apartment dwellers are more likely to pay the higher rent given the convenience of a nearby cleaners, ice cream parlor, coffee shop, sandwich shop, pizza parlor and perhaps a bar. But property owners, geniuses all, would prefer to ask for higher commercial rates and collect zero rent from vacant stores than reduce rates and actually produce income.

Denton County Transportation Authority vs DART

DART began 25 years ago, collecting ¼¢ sales tax from 13 cities to supplement its costs. Carrollton, Farmers Branch and Northwest Dallas residents have been paying this tax since DART's inception and have had bus service, but light rail will not become available until 2010.

Johnny-come-lately Denton County towns Denton, Lewisville and Highland Village finally decided to start DCTA with local service and express bus service to downtown Dallas during rush hours. Now they want their own light rail service that will take their riders to Carrollton's end-of-the-line light rail station. So the DCTA riders will be able to jump off their train, walk a few feet and get prime seating on DART while never paying the sales tax that keeps user fees low. Is that fair?

The solution is a gate. Build a big South Texas/Mexico border fence with razor wire atop and install a turnstile where those yankees from Denton County have to pay an admission charge. And, damnit, make sure they speak English upon entering our county!

Cindy McCain's Money

All of Joseph Kennedy's (illegal) booze money didn't hurt son John.
But the (legal) booze money of John McCain's wife's family may present problems.

Dolores Aguilar Obituary

What a shame.

Friday, August 22, 2008

Technorati

Technorati Profile

Technorati

Technorati Profile

Keira Knightly's Lips


Trust me. They are. I found this photo on the Internet, so it must be true.

Merritt Mauzey

Grandpa Snazzy

Job Applicant

Seen at Popeyes: young man applying for a job wearing a T-shirt the size of a small condo, "shorts" that went down to just above his ankles, flip-flops and holding an MP3 player with one earpiece in so he can hear his music and the other earpiece out so he can hear what the manager is saying. He is told, in Spanish, that they would call him. Yeah, right.

The Collector Of Englewood, NJ

The late urologist's collection included what might or might not be Napoleon's penis.

When To Be Afraid

You've just entered the aircraft and the capitan is sobbing and saying, "I have nothing to live for." He then enters the cockpit and closes the door.

Investments In A D-cup

Alternative investments in collectible guitars and Madonna's bustier.

LBJ Quote

"I don't want loyalty. I want loyalty. I want him to kiss my ass in Macy's window at high noon and tell me it smells like roses. I want his pecker in my pocket."

Blind Melon

No Rain

Women: Go Topless Saturday

DEMAND EQUAL RIGHTS!!

Economists 101

•Adam Smith (1723-1790) He was a champion of the free market and wrote the masterpiece "The Wealth of Nations". When Great Britain dominated the world, he argued that it couldn't afford to hold its rebellious American colonies.

•John Maynard Keynes (1883-1946) The Great Depression convinced Keynes that the government had to engage in deficit spending to combat unemployment. Keynesianism focused on total spending by consumers, industry and government, and when there's a recession consumers and industry aren't spending enough. Therefore government should spend more to take up the slack. Stagflation in the 1970s put a big dent in the theory, though not big enough.

•John Kenneth Galbraith (1908-2006) The left love this guy because of his anti big business views. He argued that big companies have little to fear from competitors and exercise lots of influence over consumers.

•Milton Friedman (1912-2006) GENIUS. He challenged Keynesian ideas, advocated free-floating exchange rates, school vouchers, the shift from a draft to a volunteer military and for doctors to be allowed to practice medicine without a license. He put an emphasis on the role of money in the economy, though it has always been difficult to agree as to how the money supply is calculated.

•Arthur Laffer (1940- ) is the man behind supply-side economics. Supply-siders put their emphasis on tax cuts, and especially marginal tax rates (the high rates at which income above a certain level is taxed). This boosts economic growth but also boosts government deficits.

This movie is good on content but apparently boring.

Tori Amos Photo


Happy 45th birthday.

Kristin Chenoweth Photo

Cute little thing

Thursday, August 21, 2008

The Dallas Cowboys and The New York Times

America's Team as viewed through the eyes of a Giants-land writer.

Recycling Dallas

In the northern part of town whence I type this, it was once the practice of twice-weekly trash pickup and biweekly recycling. That amounted to 10 big trucks rolling down the alley every four weeks. Then this area became a test section of once-a-week trash pickup and once-a-week recycling, while the rest of Dallas remained the same. This amounted to 8 big trucks rolling down the alley every four weeks.

Homes in this pilot area now recycle 51 pounds of material each month vs 21 pounds in other parts of the city. These homes sent an average of 143 pounds of garbage to the landfill each month vs 173 pounds in other areas. There is some revenue from recycling and significant savings in manpower and vehicle costs. A win-win situation.

This sanitation service is expected to be implemented in the entire North Dallas area effective February and eventually the entire city. But Council member Carolyn Davis, whose district includes South Dallas, says, "Why would we want once-a-week trash pickup? ...if you have a huge barbeque, it fills up these containers" and trash overflows into the streets. She and several other southern-sector (majority-minority) Council members claim their districts need more time and education to be ready for this change. If I was one of their constituents, did they just say I was stupid?

Halle Berry Photo


Great name for a site: hallewood.com.

Last (?) Visit To Texas Stadium

Wednesday night the Cowboys had a workout (yawn) at Texas Stadium and invited their fans to come watch it. Free. A big thank-you to mishkid for providing the limo service. A very big thank-you to Broe (that was the tattoo she had as a tramp stamp) for multiple viewings of her butt crack every time she sat down and for cramming those D-cups into a C-cup bra barely covered by a low-cut top. A special thank-you to the black dude who ran onto the field, was tackled by six security guards and led off in handcuffs by the Irving PD (hey, brotha, that was me in the parking lot congratulating you for your 15 seconds of fame while you were being led to the patrol car). And a huge FU to Jerry Jones for charging $7.50 for a plastic bottle of beer.
Oh, and I can't forget T-Roy DeGar who gave me one of his self-produced CDs, "I Got Options" with the single, City 2 City, which T-Roy assured me would be the next Cowboys' theme. But, T-Roy, I ain't holding my breath.

Michael Phelps' Dad

In an unfortunate twist (and possibly another reason why he isn't mentioned very often), Superhuman Olympic Swimmer Michael Phelps' estranged father is named... Fred Phelps (but it's not THAT Fred Phelps)

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Political Yard Signs

Get one now!

The Dollar Coin And Austin

Have they ever thought about going back to the Eisenhower dollar? Maybe that would be more popular.

I Got Taken

And I thought I was street smart.
I'm leaving a branch of the Dallas Public Library and was approached by a woman. I thought she said "bus," and having heard all sorts of pleas asking for bus money to visit a dying mother in some hospital, shook my head. She insisted on me hearing her, and simply wanted a ride to Walgreens about 8 blocks away. I agreed to help her. While driving she talked and talked. Then I dropped her off and continued down the road. After about 4 blocks I noticed the $6 and a burger coupon were missing from my console.

R. Crumb



Genius!

Sausage Gravy Recipe

1 lb bulk sausage meat
2 tbsp all-purpose flour
4 cups milk, heated

Brown the sausage meat in a skillet on medium heat, crumbling the sausage as it cooks. Remove the meat (but keep all the "Dr. told me not to eat it" grease), reduce the heat to medium low, and stir in the flour, scraping the brown shit up from the bottom of the pan. Stir and cook for 3 minutes. Pour in the warm milk, stirring out any lumps. Raise the heat and cook on medium, stirring every once in a while, for 15 minutes. Add the sausage back to the pan and heat through. Serve over warm, split buttermilk biscuits. Salt heavily when you-know-who is not looking.

Jessica Simpson loves beer

Jessica Simpleton will be doing ads for Dallas' Stampede Brewing Co.

I've never had any of their beers, but apparently, these are beers for "Health Conscious" people. Whatever...
And judging by their taste in spokespeople, these are also beers for "Intellectually UNconscious" people.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Back to normal

Well, it took a little longer this year, but the Rangers have manged to find their normal second half ride on the suck train.

Boo Rangers.

Hooray beer!

Was The Photo Overexposed?

The sentence that caught my eye was:

The state's indecent exposure law does not bar women from being topless in public.

Really?

Hero May Do Time

For 13 years Steven Padgett delivered mail in Apex, N.C., through rain, snow, sleet and dark of night. And for about 7 years those on his route never received any junk mail. No circulars, no pizza coupons and no oil change offers. And the USPS received no complaints about him. (He stored them in his garage). His attorney claims that this was done due to the delivery demands and strict schedule imposed upon him. He faces up to 5 years in federal prison and a $250000 fine. Sentencing is set for Nov. 17.

Trey Anastasio


The Horseshoe Curve CD

She's Still Dead

Bakhmetevsky Bus Garage


Moscow; 92000 sf parallelogram; designed 1926
Or go here.<———

The Olympics and Wide World of Sports

As a child there were times when we couldn't play outdoors. And on Saturday afternoons during those times there was always Wide World of Sports. It opened my eyes to sports i had never imagined of. Growing up in Texas I never really had any association with winter sports. WWS introduced me to downhill skiing and this weird thing from Canada called curling.The Iditarod caught my eye. Summer brought archery, which I took up later, and sculling and yachting, sports I could never afford to participate in but I later owned a catamaran and learned to sail on the vastness of Lake Texoma.

As an adult my television sports viewing is pretty much limited to football and basketball, both pro and college, and a smattering of Wimbledom and the Masters.

Every four years we elect a president and on those same years we have the (summer) Olympics. Sure, some arcane sports are on television during that 16 day period. But I look at it as a brief respite from my normal sports television viewing as well as a memory of my childhood and Jim McKay.

However, There's This Olympic "Sport"

Sport? Ha!

Monday, August 18, 2008

"We Need More Police"

That was the mantra emanating from the mouths of many during the last Dallas city election. Yeah, well buy them a good pair of walking shoes too because it has recently come to light that there is a shortage of operating police cars as well as a dearth of qualified mechanics to service them. Dallas has 700 patrol cars and as of 2 weeks ago 210 of them, or 30%, were out of service. Those that are running do so 24/7 and must be replaced every 100000 miles. The city has 240 of these replacement patrol cars — sitting in a parking lot waiting to be readied with computers and other necessities. Why? Because there are 39 vacancies in the 150-person fleet services department. They can't find enough qualified applicants (read: the pay is too low).
But the politicians did what they said they would do. And when election time rolls around again their platform will be, "We need more police." I'll ask if they'll finish the paragraph.

The Woodstock Music And Art Fair

Ended on this day in 1969, Sullivan County, NY. You know who the final act was. He played before a reported crowd of 300.

Attention Political Pundits

You too can be on TV!

saysme.tv

Bigfoot Found!

Let's see. The plural of mongoose is mongooses, yet the plural of titmouse is titmice. I wonder what the plural of bigfoot is?

Poverty In America

"There is no poverty in America. Americans don't know what poverty really is." — Judith Andrews, an international flight attendant who periodically travels to India.

Russian Invasion Of Georgia - Two Views

U.S. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice: "This is not 1968, and the invasion of Czechoslovakia, where Russia can invade its neighbor, occupy a capital, overthrow a government and get away with it. Things have changed."

Russian Gen. VyachNikolayevich: "What can America do to us? A big country like Russia doesn't fear America."

Cindy Scull Photo

Formerly of 93.3 'The Bone'
Maybe she can get a job at Hooters.

Only in Texas

Went to Babe's Chicken Dinner House in Burleson on Saturday. I'm not a fan, but it wasn't my call.

At any rate, did you know that Babe's considers Cream Gravy a vegetable? Where can I get seeds to grow Gravy plants?

Sunday, August 17, 2008

Utility Bills

So we sit around and drink beer and solve the world's problems and the question, "How much was your (fill in the blank) bill last month?" always comes up. So here's the latest for the, ahem, 3253 sf living space abode:
•Electricity $380.52 (7/11-8/11) Not bad.
•Water $94.77
•Gas $38.30

38¢ Gasoline

And no one said a thing! Poor guy.

Preseason Football

I just love it when a sports writer will "accidently" use the term exhibition season. The NFL suits get hot under the collar.

Remember when there were 6 preseason games and only 14 regular games? That sucked. The roar of the crowd was finally heard and a change was made to 4 preseason and 16 regular season games.

When we had season tickets we always had to pay the same full price for seats and parking for both preseason and regular season. We never went. We couldn't even give the seats away. And Jerry Jones, ever the politician, would always say, "The fans of the Dallas Cowboys enjoy seeing the younger players progress." Jerry, you're so full of it.

The crowd has been roaring again for some time about reducing the preseason schedule to 2 games and expanding the regular season to 18. "But we need those final two games to determine what players will make the cut," the owners say. Who says the NFL cannot have an expanded roster those first 2 regular season games? OK, the bottom line says so. Players don't get paid for preseason games. So an expanded roster would mean more money out of the owners pockets. Things can get worked out by the pencil pushers.

Of course it will become easier for season and career records to be broken. But isn't that what records are made to be?

Jennifer Aniston's Bikini Bottom

I'll bet she has a "Brazilian."

Harvey Levin Of TMZ

And his ever-present sippy cup.

When To Flush

If it's yellow, let it mellow.
If it's brown, let it drown.

Russia's Next Georgia?

What's Putin up to?

A Short History Of "White" America

Don't sweat the arrival of the so-called minority majority in a couple of generations.

Broadway Brett

Wearing his #4 Jets jersey, Brett Favre hit 5 of 6 passes in 14 plays including a 4-yd touchdown pass. However the Redskins won 13-10. I loves me some Favre.

Saturday, August 16, 2008

Pont-Neuf Bridge

in Paris.

The Toilette

by Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec

Thirsty Lance Armstrong

The largest water user in Austin.

The Dallas County Budget

In order to help offset the expected budget shortfall, Dallas County looked at charging jail inmates $25 a day, room and board, on misdemeanor offenses. State law allows such. State law provides no consequences for failing to pay. Except, I guess, more jail time. The county dropped the idea.

"The Bucket List"

This waste of 97 minutes of most viewers' lives reminded me that there once was a town in Dallas County named Thin Gravy. I'm guessing the town died when the local cafe went out of business.

Saturday, August 9, 2008

National Enquirer & Journalism

They broke a story and nobody listened.

Free $77

No, it's not in jail. For a limited time, Century Bank will give you $77 to open a personal checking account. Minimum $100 opening balance.

Venezuela's Time Zone

Nut-case President Hugo Chavez wants the country's time to be "earlier" than New York City's.

Donald Trump's Hair

One thing to say: hairspray!

Friday, August 8, 2008

Credit Card Deals

Gasoline Savings
Get a Valero/Diamond Shamrock credit card and receive a 10¢ per gallon rebate on your credit card statement for the first three billing cycles. Offer is limited to 100 gallons per month. Apply online at www.valero.com/creditcard or call 800-495-3998.

$139 Airline Ticket to Europe
Travelers can earn enough miles on US Airways for a trip to Europe, Hawaii, the Caribbean or Mexico. Sign up for a US Airways Visa Signature cardwith an annual fee of $90. Your first purchase on the cardgives you 25000 miles. Also sign up for the US Airways World MasterCard for $49 and earn 10000 miles. Or sign up for the Premier World MasterCard for $79 and get 15000 miles plus a $99 domestic companion ticket. Do so by Dec 31. Go to www.usairways.com, or call 800-932-2775 (mention priority code FABJYJ) the Visa Signature card and 800-307-0341 for either MasterCard.
Take the trip and cancel after the first year.

Had To Call 911

So I noticed this guy walking down the alley, but he wasn't familiar. White, tall and slender, short blond hair, light blue jeans, smoking a cigarette. What I did notice was him eyeing out my truck, which was parked in the driveway. A few minutes later I am in the garage and the truck alarm goes off. I knew immediately that he tried to break in, so I jumped up and yelled, "You S.O.B. You bastard." I ran to the garage window, but he was long gone.
Had to go back inside to get the key to turn off the alarm. Then I called 911. Oh yeah, it was 8:00 pm. Gave them the details, then made some phone calls while on the back porch. Ten minutes later the Dallas Police show up, I gave them the same details that I had given the dispatcher, and the officer patrolled the neighborhood. Nothing was stolen, and I never heard back from anyone. But I hope that alarm made the guy shit in his pants.

Chad & Rochelle Get Hitched

today in a private ceremony. Party tomorrow night. Best wishes to the Chandlers.

Change It

Stevie Ray Vaughan and Double Trouble on the Soul to Soul CD.

Neuschwanstein Castle

In the Bavarian Alps.

Thursday, August 7, 2008

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Those Cheap Texas Rangers Tickets

Let's see. They're available online for as little as $6. Sounds good. To that price, add a $1.75 processing fee. Then there is a $2.75 convenience fee.

If you want to print out the ticket, there is an additional $2.50 convenience fee. What? If I don't print it out, the Rangers have to pull the ticket, put it in an envelope, put your name on the envelope and take it to Will Call, where an employee has to pull it for you upon arrival. It seems that the Rangers should be giving a discount for printing it yourself considering all the manhours they're saving.

Of course, you can prepay for parking. But then add a $2 convenience fee. Per ticket, not per car. After all the nickel-and-diming, that $6 ticket is costing about $27. Then add gas and (optionally) concessions. And they wonder why attendance is low.

Might help if they'd ever be in the pennant race after the All-Star Game.

The Democrats Are Sick Of Joe Lieberman

According to LiebermanMustGo.com.

Hillary Still Needs Money

Good! Let her die broke! Maybe she'll never run again!

Freakonomics

A very good blog.

Sturgis Motorcycle Rally

August 4-10 in Sturgis, SD.

Roger Waters Live In Berlin

With Cyndi Lauper.
Another Brick in the Wall, Part 2
Buffer this thing!

Just burgers. Just fries. Just better.

Mooyah Burger.

China's Central Television Building

Finished just in time for the Olympics

Paris Hilton For President

"I'm Paris Hilto and I approve this message."

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Beijing's Olympics National Aquatics Center

The Water Cube

Texas Longhorns 2008 Football Schedule

8/30 Florida Atlantic Owls W 52-10
9/6 at UTEP Miners W 42-13
9/13 Arkansas Razorbacks ppd Hurricane Ike
9/20 Rice Owls W 52-10
9/27 Arkansas Razorbacks
10/4 at Colorado Buffaloes
10/11 Oklahoma Sooners (at Dallas)
10/18 Missouri Tigers
10/25 Oklahoma State Cowboys
11/1 at Texas Tech Red Raiders
11/8 Baylor Bears
11/15 at Kansas Jayhawks
11/27 Texas A&M Aggies

Longhorn sports can be heard locally on 660 am.

Beijing's Olympic National Stadium

The Bird's Nest

Communication

There are four types of communication, defined as an exchange of information.

•The easiest is listening; you ingest information from what others say.

•Two and three are close, but generally reading is the next easiest. Again you ingest.

•Speaking is close. Now you are giving information.

•Writing is by far the toughest communication. Unlike speaking, you must be trained to write, and do it in a way that others understand your information without the give-and-take provided by oral communication.

Goodbye Norma Jean

Marilyn Monroe died on this date in 1962.

Farrah Fawcett

What is she on?

Monday, August 4, 2008

The School Of Athens

by Raphael

King Sisyphus

Sisyphus pissed off Zeus by telling tales of Zeus' many dalliances with the ladies. Zeus punished the King in Hades by forcing him to roll an enormous boulder to the top of a steep hill. Every time the boulder neared the top, it would roll back down and Sisyphus would have to start over. A difficult and futile endeavor is often called a "Sisyphean task."

Paper Clips

More than you ever wanted to know.

Shawn Johnson Photo

Representing the U.S. at the Olympics

The Dvorak Keyboard

Better than the QWERTY?

Billy Bob Thornton

Happy 53rd birthday

NFL Quarterback Rating Formula

a = (((Comp/Att) x 100) - 30) ÷ 20
b = ((TDs/Att) x 100) ÷ 5
c = (9.5 - ((Int/Att) x 100)) ÷ 4
d = ((Yards/Att) - 3) ÷ 4

a,b,c,d cannot be greater than 2.375 or less than 0

QB Rating = (a=b=c=d) ÷ .06

Sunday, August 3, 2008