IDIOT Opinion Piece

From The Dallas Morning News, March 2, 2007. Bold added by me.
The José Factor by Walter Littlejohn


I recently heard a startling statistic. According to the Social Security Administration, "José" was the top name given baby boys in Texas in 2005. In fact, there were exactly 2,766 little Josés born in Texas that year.

There's been a lot of debate lately about illegal aliens from our neighbor to the south. Tens of millions of our tax dollars are going to free health. Pizza is being sold for pesos. "Illegals" are taking jobs away from legal citizens. Credit cards are being given to people with no Social Security number.

The list of hot-button issues can go on and on. But now we have something to sink our teeth into: The José Factor.

We finally have something even a dodo like me can understand. I can't visualize what a million dollars looks like, much less tens of millions. It's true that all the workers I see working on new homes in my area are Mexicans, but I don't know if any white or black guys tried to get one of those jobs. And a credit card with a $500 limit? Most of us would max that out in two days.

But a bunch of little Josés in our community — that means something.

Out of curiosity, I checked my old high school yearbook to see how many Josés we had back in the old days. We had four Jimmys, three Richards, four Johns, four Jameses, a couple of Georges, and an assortment of others ranging from Robert to Doyle, but you guessed it: not a single José.

Some of those little Josés born in 2005 were undoubtedly born to illegal immigrants. I don't know, but it really doesn't matter. What I'm certain of, however, is that every one of those Josés is a brand new U.S. citizen, regardless of the parent's status. That's how the Social Security Administration got the data; there were 2,766 applications for new Social Security numbers for babies named José.

And, I'm fairly certain all those little guys were born to Hispanic parents. I'll bet anybody a nickel there wasn't a José Smith or José Jones among them.

I'm not trying to make a political statement here, but this is a stistic that means something. If we carry this a little further, 15 or 20 years down the road these little baby Josés are going to be daddies with the real possibility each will name a son José Jr. or José III. Are you still with me? A few generations down the road, we'll be awash with Josés. They'll be everywhere. Cute little brown-eyed toddlers hugging their mother's legs in the checkout line or staring up from a stroller in the mall. Their charm will beguile us into believing they aren't a threat. How could anyone not love the little darlings?

What we have here, folks, is a major turning point in our culture. The good old U.S. of A. is in grave danger of becoming the U.S. of José.

Is he kidding? Someone with the name "Walter" can make fun of another name?
Why does anyone care if pizza is being sold for pesos? This is America. Open a fish & chips store and price it in British pounds!
And just how in the the hell does he know that "all the workers I see working on new homes in my area are Mexicans?" Because they're brown? Because they speak Spanish? Are there no Americans that speak Spanish? Do people from Guatemala not work here?
What this idiot is worried about is what he perceives to be a change in culture since the old fart was a little boy. When he is old and infirm and in a rest home, I hope the José that changes his bed sheets or wipes his butt didn't read this story.

What an idiot! I delight in reading political pundits' views because I understand that they cater primarily to those who have similar thoughts, otherwise they wouldn't be able to put bread on their table. But this article actually had me writing a letter to the editor. And it was published.

The only other time I responded to an article was to one written by a supposedly professional journalist. She commented about a past defacing of the MLK statue on the University of Texas campus, and wrote that it had been done "by an unknown student." I emailed her and asked, if the person who had done so was unknown, how did she know it was a student?