Monday, June 23, 2008

Julius Caesar Kidnapped!

Yep. It happened about 75 BC (I refuse to use that silly BCE term). Some bloodthirsty Cilician pirates captured Jules' ship, took him prisoner and demanded a ransom of 20 gold talents. Their trouble began when they didn't recognize him. Jules laughed at the ransom figure, upped it to 50 and sent his servants out to collect. Before they got back 38 days later, Jules forced the pirates to listen to his poetry, insulted their education when they didn't like it and sent them messages to tone it down when he was trying to sleep. He even told them he was going to have them all crucified when he got back to civilization.
The pirates, accustomed to their captives cowering in fear, thought Jules quite mad. They took a liking to him and adopted him as an odd sort of class clown.
Then the ransom money arrived and Caesar was set free.
Shortly thereafter he came back with an army. The pirates were crucified.

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