Sunday, November 16, 2008
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
When You Care Enough To Ask The Very Best
When the words just don't come out of your mouth. She knows what you're wanting to ask. You know her answer. Just open this bottle of wine. Perhaps then you can whisper to her those three little words: "Let's try it"
Available at Wal-Mart and other fine vintners.
Available at Wal-Mart and other fine vintners.
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Monday, November 10, 2008
The Radio Only Plays "Texas Fight"
Yes, he bleeds orange. He likes his toast burnt. The eyes of Texas are upon him. He's a true fan all the live long day. He loves to fish so he can hook 'em. Scott Wilson is one hell of a fan.
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Thank the Flying Spaghetti Monster it's over
Obama won. yay. Now on to four more years of a popular, likeable prez that doesn't solve any problems.
At least Chris Turner will stop sending me mail everyday about what a douche Bill Zedler is.
At least Chris Turner will stop sending me mail everyday about what a douche Bill Zedler is.
Saturday, November 1, 2008
Halloween Earthquake Hits Dallas Area
Thousands dead! Millions homeless! "It's the wrath of God" local clergy proclaim. Jerry Jones says the Cowboys game will be played as scheduled. Full story here.
Friday, October 31, 2008
Most Beautiful Goat
Qahr won during the Mazayen al-Maaz competition in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia. Doesn't the audience look pleased?
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
World Series Needs A Neutral Site For Games
Might I suggest The Ballpark In Arlington? The home team never uses it in October.
Bay Rays Find Room At The Inn
Game 5, World Series, game tied 2-2, raining cats and dogs in Philly and MLB designated idiot Bud Selig decides to suspend the game until tonight. One minor problem: Tampa Bay had earlier made plans to fly back home after the game and now needed 87 hotel rooms on short notice. And MLB's Basic Agreement guidelines called for "first-class accommodations." So the team's traveling secretary called 20-21 hotels before finding enough at the Hotel du Pont 25 miles away in Wilmington, Delaware.
Jeff Ziegler, the guy with the headache responsible for finding the place, reportedly heard the woman answering the phone say, "I think I got a prank call." Ziegler told her, "I'm dead serious. Turn on the TV and you'll see I'm not kidding."
Jeff Ziegler, the guy with the headache responsible for finding the place, reportedly heard the woman answering the phone say, "I think I got a prank call." Ziegler told her, "I'm dead serious. Turn on the TV and you'll see I'm not kidding."
The $14 Peach Cobbler
A violin, a middle school orchestra and goddaughter-the-younger Catie lured me into paying fourteen dollars for 2 pounds of peach cobbler. Never mind that the Mrs. Smith's brand is ten dollars cheaper at Wal-Mart. Mine came with 2 hugs and an "I love you."
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
The White House — The Dallas Cowboys' White House
The one rented in 1994 by Alvin Harper at 113 Dorsett Dr. in the Valley Ranch neighborhood of Irving.
That's the former HQ of the Dallas Stars directly behind the house. The Cowboys HQ and practice facility is to the lower far left.
Alvin Harper was considered the mayor, as well as Michael Irving and Nate Newton. The governor was Charles Haley. The worst job around was that of the two cleaning ladies. They'd find used condoms, sex toys, bras...
I was never invited.
At the time I owned a store shown at this location A. The Stars' facility is to the bottom right and the Cowboys' just below and to the left of it. The oval track and building just below location A is Barbara Bush Middle School which, even though it is in the city limits of Irving, is actually in the Carrollton-Farmers Branch ISD.
Back at the Cowboys HQ, the veterans would often send the rookies to the Coppell Deli, the original one on the two lane blacktop of Bethel Road. I liked their BBQ sandwiches.
That's the former HQ of the Dallas Stars directly behind the house. The Cowboys HQ and practice facility is to the lower far left.
Alvin Harper was considered the mayor, as well as Michael Irving and Nate Newton. The governor was Charles Haley. The worst job around was that of the two cleaning ladies. They'd find used condoms, sex toys, bras...
I was never invited.
At the time I owned a store shown at this location A. The Stars' facility is to the bottom right and the Cowboys' just below and to the left of it. The oval track and building just below location A is Barbara Bush Middle School which, even though it is in the city limits of Irving, is actually in the Carrollton-Farmers Branch ISD.
Back at the Cowboys HQ, the veterans would often send the rookies to the Coppell Deli, the original one on the two lane blacktop of Bethel Road. I liked their BBQ sandwiches.
My City Councilman
The first time I met Ron Natinsky I thought he came off as arrogant. But I've met him enough now that, though he may not remember my name, he claims he recognizes my mug. At least he answers my email.
Natinsky has a jones for recycling, as do I. The first neighborhood meeting I attended after he was elected I walked away with a cute little replica of a recycling bin just like the ones you put in the alley. I use it for a pencil cup. The last meeting I went home with a pizza cutter and a dish scrubber, both with his name on them and neither one recycable.
But, hey, they were free! Except that I had to help pay for them.
Natinsky has a jones for recycling, as do I. The first neighborhood meeting I attended after he was elected I walked away with a cute little replica of a recycling bin just like the ones you put in the alley. I use it for a pencil cup. The last meeting I went home with a pizza cutter and a dish scrubber, both with his name on them and neither one recycable.
But, hey, they were free! Except that I had to help pay for them.
Resurrecting The Champ
Erik Kernan is a newspaper writer covering boxing for the Denver Times whose stories are always relegated to page 20 in the sports section. Then he finds the Champ, a former 185-pound contender who now lives homeless on the streets, and together the history of the great pugilist is written. Or rewritten. Because the Champ has actually been living the illusory life another boxer, one long dead. Starring Samuel L. Jackson and Josh Hartnett. With Rachel Nichols as the press babe Polly. Available at the Dallas Public Library where, since checking it out is without a price, it is priceless.
UNT Football: Absolutely no hope
15 UNT football players failed drug tests recently. I don't know what drugs they were taking, but considering the Mean Green are 0-8 and rank as the worst team in Div 1 Football (120 out of 120) by Rivals.com, I'm thinking they picked the wrong drugs.
Monday, October 27, 2008
Dr Pepper won't Welsh on their Rare Bet
In an odd promotion not targeted at their usual sippers, Dr Pepper promised everyone a free can of their soft drink if Guns N' Roses released their 8-year-in-the-making CD "Chinese Democracy" this year. It is scheduled in Best Buy (only) stores November 23. For your coupon, you must go to their web site on that date and that date only to fill out the form.
Sunday, October 26, 2008
Saturday, October 25, 2008
Jennifer Aniston Is A Size Queen
Rumor has it she prefers a fire hose. Garganzilla. Horse sausage. Jumbo johnson. Whopper willie. Her bald-below likes some John Mayer.
Friday, October 24, 2008
Absinthe Is Legal
Absinthe, illegal in the U.S. since at least 1915, is no more. Since 2007, two brands, Lucid and Kübler, have been imported. But at a price! Expect to pay $100 or more.
It was thought to be hallucinogenic and toxic due to the ingredients of wormwood and thujone. But the amount of those ingredients is small. Absinthe contains no sugar, so drinking it is usually done by using an absinthe spoon, placing a sugar cube atop, and pouring water over it to dissolve the sugar into the glass and diluting the absinthe with the water.
See The New York Times article.
Buy some. Invite me over.
The Old Absinthe House in New Orleans.
Thursday, October 23, 2008
America's Pastime Is Past Its Prime Time
It's the World Series for crying out loud. Baseball's ultimate event. The (Tampa) Bay Rays are there for the first time. So let's check the Dallas Morning News SportsDay for coverage. Pagone is the beginning of two stories on the Dallas Cowboys and another on Texas high school football. Page 2 is briefs and boxers on the NBA with an article on the Mavericks exhibition game. Yes, exhibition game. Page 3 is all Cowboys except for a small ad titled, "Great Sex Forever." Page 4 is NFL/golf/motor sports. Page 5 is college football and women's college basketball. Yes, women's college basketball. Page 6 is Rangers baseball, a big ad for whiskey and, wait, there it is, a full half-page article on Game 1 of the Big Show. Complete with the box score and scheduled games.
The Rodney Dangerfield of sports can't even decide when to throw the first pitch. Some games begin at 7:29 while others begin at 7:35. Perhaps it depends on if Wheel of Fortune goes into overtime.
The Rodney Dangerfield of sports can't even decide when to throw the first pitch. Some games begin at 7:29 while others begin at 7:35. Perhaps it depends on if Wheel of Fortune goes into overtime.
Newspaper Name
The Hippo? Owned by the same company that owns the Dallas Observer and Forth Worth Weekly, this alternative covers the cities of Manchester, Nashua and Concord, New Hampshire.
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
The Street (walkers) of San Francisco
Citizens will soon decide whether or not to decriminalize prostitution in a city known for its Barbary Coast.
Let the good times roll.
Let the good times roll.
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Paper Airplanes
It's called buckypaper. It is 10 times lighter than, but up to 500 times stronger then steel.
Credit Default Swaps
A credit default swap is a contract, generally between banks, that acts as insurance on debt. Under the contract, the seller, for a fee, agrees to make a payment to the buyer if something bad happens to the debt the buyer has insured with the swaps.
For instance, a bank that holds another bank's bonds could insure those bonds against loss by buying swaps. If a bond held by an investor lost so much value that it was worth only 8¢ on the dollar, the holder of that investor's credit default swap would owe him 92¢ for each dollar covered by the swaps.
The chairman of the Securities and Exchange Commission has estimated there are $55 trillion in credit default swaps outstanding.
For instance, a bank that holds another bank's bonds could insure those bonds against loss by buying swaps. If a bond held by an investor lost so much value that it was worth only 8¢ on the dollar, the holder of that investor's credit default swap would owe him 92¢ for each dollar covered by the swaps.
The chairman of the Securities and Exchange Commission has estimated there are $55 trillion in credit default swaps outstanding.
Monday, October 20, 2008
Letters To The Editor
The Dallas News claims that, "letters will be edited for length, clarity and style." This one appeared on their Community Opinions page October 10, 2008, while the editor either had a day off or a hangover.
'Sin taxes' send wrong message
On returning from an early morning run to Target to pick up a few nonperishable food items and snacks for the Frisco Ballet's upcoming production of The Nutcracker, my daughter and I returned to our apartment to find lit Camel cigarette butts near our front door.
I am not a smoker. My husband, a former superintendent of public schools, used to smoke in high school and college, but he is no longer a smoker. (He was at work in Celina).
Our state uses the sin taxes placed on alcohol and tobacco to help fund public education. We as citizens need to send a strong message to Austin and tell them, "no, thank you" on the "sin tax" funding to help support public education in our state.
Are we telling our youth the only way we can pay for their deserved public education is through these types of taxes?
Cathy Burks, Frisco
— — — — —
Does the reader need to know that she went to Target, what she bought, what the purchases were for and the brand of cigarette? That's just the first sentence.
Does the reader need to know the past profession of her husband or that he was in Celina at the time? That's the second sentence.
As a matter of fact, does the newspaper even need to print this letter, other than to make their readers laugh?
'Sin taxes' send wrong message
On returning from an early morning run to Target to pick up a few nonperishable food items and snacks for the Frisco Ballet's upcoming production of The Nutcracker, my daughter and I returned to our apartment to find lit Camel cigarette butts near our front door.
I am not a smoker. My husband, a former superintendent of public schools, used to smoke in high school and college, but he is no longer a smoker. (He was at work in Celina).
Our state uses the sin taxes placed on alcohol and tobacco to help fund public education. We as citizens need to send a strong message to Austin and tell them, "no, thank you" on the "sin tax" funding to help support public education in our state.
Are we telling our youth the only way we can pay for their deserved public education is through these types of taxes?
Cathy Burks, Frisco
— — — — —
Does the reader need to know that she went to Target, what she bought, what the purchases were for and the brand of cigarette? That's just the first sentence.
Does the reader need to know the past profession of her husband or that he was in Celina at the time? That's the second sentence.
As a matter of fact, does the newspaper even need to print this letter, other than to make their readers laugh?
Spread Offense
Extremely popular in Texas high school football. In this photo, the offense is in white, the quarterback is out of the shotgun with one running back to his left (most likely to block) and four receivers (one partially hidden). Generally high scoring.
Mervyns Says "Uncle"
They've thrown in the towel. They've spit out the mouth guard. After almost 60 years in business they've filed for bankruptcy and will close their remaining 149 stores with big clearance sales now through Christmas. Hold up your hand if you're a regular customer. Hold up your hand if you'll miss them. OK, hold up your hand if you've shopped at Mervyns in the last year. Will someone please hold up their hand?
The Enigma That Is #16
His résumé is succinct:
Sean Avery. The most hated man in hockey.
His seven seasons in the NHL have been in the barns of the Detroit Red Wings, Los Angeles Kings, New York Rangers and now the Dallas Stars. An antic he pulled once in last season's Stanley Cup playoffs, legal at that time, brought a new rule the next day:
"An unsportsmanlike conduct minor penalty will be interpreted and applied, effective immediately, to a situation when an offensive player positions himself facing the opposition goaltender and engages in actions such as waving his arms or stick in front of the goaltender's face, for the purpose of improperly interfering with and/or distracting the goaltender as opposed to positioning himself to try to make a play."
His contract will earn him $15.5 million over the next four years.
Disappearing Ink
The powers that be in the city of the body of Christ have decided that it would be cruel and unusual punishment for those arrested or given a citation to be subjected to seeing tattoos. Right on, right on. It's a damn shame when professionals have to be told to look professional.
Long sleeves on the 4th of July.
Long sleeves on the 4th of July.
Saturday, October 18, 2008
Texas State Board Of Education
District boundaries.
Districts 11 and 12 are divided by the Dallas/Tarrant County line.
District 13 endorsement.
District 11 member Patricia Hardy and district 12 member Geraldine Miller (see paragraph 5) appointed SMU anthropology professor Ronald L. Wetherington to a committee on how science will be taught in the classroom. Miller seems sensible.
Hardy somewhat scares me. See paragraph 18 of this article where she says she is open to the idea of putting intelligent design into the curriculum. (The paragraph starts out, Republican Pat Hardy of Weatherford...)
In district 14, vote for the Democrat. Current member Gail Lowe (R) is on the Intelligent Design/Creationist team.
See paragraphs 5 and 9 (next to last).
Districts 11 and 12 are divided by the Dallas/Tarrant County line.
District 13 endorsement.
District 11 member Patricia Hardy and district 12 member Geraldine Miller (see paragraph 5) appointed SMU anthropology professor Ronald L. Wetherington to a committee on how science will be taught in the classroom. Miller seems sensible.
Hardy somewhat scares me. See paragraph 18 of this article where she says she is open to the idea of putting intelligent design into the curriculum. (The paragraph starts out, Republican Pat Hardy of Weatherford...)
In district 14, vote for the Democrat. Current member Gail Lowe (R) is on the Intelligent Design/Creationist team.
See paragraphs 5 and 9 (next to last).
Friday, October 17, 2008
3 Cups With The A Section
Every two months a request for $38 appears in the mailbox and every two months that same amount disappears from the checking account. The result is that every single morning there is a copy of The Dallas Morning News on the front lawn...by 6:00 am.
Many mornings I go to J's Cafe in Addison where I enjoy their Community brand coffee served in a ceramic cup. Refills are unlimited but I usually try to stop after 3 cups. The ticket comes to $1.35 and I leave a $1.00 tip which is still less than what the snobs pay at Starbucks a block away where they get their coffee in a paper cup with no refills and they have to stand in line to get it and some of those idiots actually leave money in the tip jar. It is said that ignorance is bliss but perhaps stupidity is as well.
I drink my coffee black-and-white. No cream. No sugar. Extra newspaper. I try to leave the house about 5:45 which gets me to J's five minutes before Gary who, though he has much less seniority than me, always wants to sit in my booth. Ain't gonna happen Gary. But (horrors!) that's before my newspaper has been delivered. Everything's copacetic, Louie. The paper is in the rack at the cafe early and, known only to me, the lock on the rack is broken. So I just "borrow" a paper, read the A section with my caffeine and replace it when I leave. The rack man loses no money and the newspaper still gets their $38 every two months.
Then there's Woody, who comes into J's every morning to get change for a dollar. He sticks three quarters into the rack to get a paper and the other quarter goes in his pocket. He needs change every morning which makes me wonder what happens to that extra quarter.
I have no idea who J is. Or was. I'll have to ask sometime. Rick owns it now.
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Unsexiest Woman Alive
Sarah Jessica Parker wins the title. She's the one on the left (above).
She was not particularly proud of winning.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Pit Bull Owners Get Seven Years
Pit bulls seem to have internal magnets that attract irresponsible owners. I'll admit that I was wrong back when I was calling for ownership of pit bulls to be made illegal. I once was blind but now I see. The blame rests with the owners. This couple get to spend seven years in prison. Waterboarding should be part of the punishment. Actually I hope this sentence discourages others from getting pit bulls. There are just too many other types of dogs out there that need adopting to have any kind of fasination with pit bulls.
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
GQ Magazine Sells Out (to advertisers)
Megan Fox on the cover! How can you go wrong? First you begin with 53 pages of nothing but advertisements before you get to the table of contents. Followed by more advertisements until you get to page 58 where you find out that the photo/article on this blue-eyed babe is on page 256. In between are numerous other advertisements with no page numbers on them. A trip worth making but a trip that sold me on not subscribing to this magazine.
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