Banana Chases Gorilla; Two Arrested

Two students at Flower Mound High pulled this stunt Friday night during a football game. They spent 16 hours in jail. Youtube. (best to let it completely buffer before playing).

Apparently no truth to the rumor that the gorilla was of the 800 pound variety. Except for the arrest report, it seemed as if the banana slipped away. (I couldn't help that).

Football Team Names Of The Unique

A football team consisting of third-graders was recently formed in Edmond, OK. They passed on using the names Tornadoes and Lightening and instead chose the intimidating moniker of — the Natural Disasters. The ND's currently have a 2-1 record.

NFL Name Change

Cincinnati Bengals WR Chad Johnson had his name changed to Chad Ocho Cinco. That's Spanish for "eight five." Guess what his uniform number is? The league will allow the name on the back of his jersey.

NFL Team Owners By Clout

Per Rick Gosselin using the criteria of team value, market size and league committee membership. Principal owner listed in cases of multiple ownership.

1. Jerry Jones, Cowboys
2. Bob Craft, New England
3. Dan Rooney, Pittsburgh
4. Pat Bowlen, Denver
5. Bob McNair, Houston
6. Dan Snyder, Washington
7. Jeff Lurie, Philadelphia
8. Jerry Richardson, Carolina
9. Steve Bisciotti, Baltimore
10. John Mara, NY Giants
11. Wayne Huizenga, Miami
12. Paul Allen, Seattle
13. Al Davis, Oakland
14. Arthur Blank, Atlanta
15. Woody Johnson, NY Jets
16. Tom Benson, New Orleans
17. Jim Irsay, Indianapolis
18. Alex Spanos, San Diego
19. Bud Adams, Tennessee
20. Wayne Weaver, Jacksonville
21. Malcolm Glazer, Tampa Bay
22. William Clay Ford, Detroit
23. Clark Hunt, Kansas City
24. Mike McCaskey, Chicago
25. Randy Lerner, Cleveland
26. Mike Brown, Cincinnati
27. Ralph Wilson, Buffalo
28. Bill Bidwill, Arizona
29. Zygi Wilf, Minnesota
30. Mark Murphy, Green Bay*
31. Denise DeBartolo York, San Francisco
32. Chip Rosenbloom, St. Louis

* President. Publicly owned.

NFL Injuries and Replacements

If a team hires a veteran replacement for the opening regular season game, they must pay his salary for the entire season. If the team waits until the second game, they only have to pay him on a weekly basis.

The Mets, the Jets, the Giants & the Yankees

The Dallas Cowboys are getting a new stadium. So are they.

However, the Jets just made an announcement that should make some fans happy.

High School Football's Zero Week

The UIL now allows Texas high schools to play a football game one week early and have a bye week during the season. The schools are still limited to playing 10 games unless in the playoffs. To accommodate the early game while still calling the last games of the regular season Week 10, the first week is now called Zero Week. Bureaucrats. You gotta love them.

Notre Dame Football Sucks!

You either love Notre Dame football or you hate it. I hate it. And here's why:

•They have the easiest recruiting job of all colleges. Think of all the Catholic high schools out there with most of their football players dreaming of going to Notre Dame. Simple supply and demand means that Notre Dame is just about the only program where the recruiters never have to leave the campus.

•NBC obligates itself to televise all of Notre Dame's home football games making recruiting even easier. Imagine the thoughts of future NFL stardom going through the minds of the visiting high school players when told they'll be on national TV five or more times each year.

•They're not a member of any football conference meaning there's no revenue sharing with other colleges. They could afford bidets for their locker rooms but refuse to install them because they think their shit don't stink.

•What's with not having names stitched on the back of their jerseys? Their not the NY Yankees. And put a logo or something on those gold helmets.

•I'd like to set fire to that little dweeb of a mascot that runs around in the knee-high socks and green suit and fake red hair and beard. If UT have a real longhorn Notre Dame can get a real leprechaun.

Rick Gosselin's Off-Season NFL Rankings

We'll see how well his predictions are come February 1, 2008, in Tampa.

1. New England Patriots
2. Indianapolis Colts
3. Dallas Cowboys
4. San Diego Chargers
5. Jacksonville Jaguars
6. New York Giants
7. Pittsburgh Steelers
8. Cleveland Browns
9. Philadelphia Eagles
10. Seattle Seahawks
11. Minnesota Vikings
12. New Orleans Saints
13. Tennessee Titans
14. Tampa Bay Buccaneers
15. Cincinnati Bengals
16. Buffalo Bills
17. Houston Texans
18. Green Bay Packers
19. Carolina Panthers
20. Washington Redskins
21. Arizona Cardinals
22. Chicago Bears
23. St. Louis Rams
24. Oakland Raiders
25. Detroit Lions
26. Kansas City Chiefs
27. Baltimore Ravens
28. Denver Broncos
29. New York Jets
30. San Francisco 49ers
31. Miami Dolphins
32. Atlanta Falcons